I’ve just come back to Germany after having lived in Barcelona for over a year. Although not everything was rosy, it still had an incredible time there. Barcelona oftens gets a lot of hate for being too touristy, but in my opinion it’s still one of the most beautiful and interesting European cities out there (if not the most beautiful large-scale European city) and there’s a lot to discover outside the well-worn tourist paths.
Daygame-wise, I would say it’s pretty good as well. I only did limited daygame there, since I was in a relationship with the Colombian girl (that I met through daygame on my 5th day in Barcelona) for most of my time there. But from what I have seen during non-pandemic times, you have a constant influx of tourists and exchange students from all over the world in a city that is very pedestrian-friendly. On top of that, there are many girls from Latinamerica (Brazil, Chile, Colombia) who come to live in Barcelona. And then there are the local Spanish/Catalan girls. So very good conditions for daygame really.
So what have I learned during my time in Barcelona? Here are my epiphanies (if you can call them that):
- Monogamy is not for me
As mentioned earlier, I was dating the Colombian girl for most of my time in Barcelona and although it was arguably the best relationship I’ve had thus far, it still ultimately left me unsatisfied. She was incredibly fun to be around (displaying a playfulness and femininity that only youth can harness), we did a lot of kinky shit in bed (which she was always up for) and she was very hot as well (out of the 26 girls I’ve notched, she would be in the top 3). And being only 17 yo, she had the tight body of a teen with the perky ass and boobs that would inspire a good rogering many a time.
On the surface I should have been happy, so why was I dissatisfied? The first issue for me was that the sex eventually just got boring. Logically I found her very attractive, but emotionally having sex with her just became bland, old, predictable. It came to a point where I would tell her I was busy with some kind of project so she wouldn’t come around to meet me and have sex (which she often did unannounced). Even if I was dating the world’s hottest woman, I still think that at some point I would get tired and bored of fucking her and would crave new pussy. That’s why the idea that some men voluntarily and legally bind themselves to one woman for life (with all the other risks involved) just seems crazy to me. Being obliged to only have sex with the same woman for life seems more like punishment to me, not some blissful end-goal that is worthwhile to achieve. I could never do that.
The second issue besides my apathy for monogamous sex was that after the honeymoon phase, there simply wasn’t that much excitement left. We still went out a lot together and had fun dates, but it just doesn’t compare to the thrill and excitement you feel when you approach a hot girl, attract her and get her laughing, take her phone number and meet her a few days later for a first date. Being in a relationship just feels too “safe” to me. The spark and excitement for life is missing that you feel when you are single and know there are new girls out there for you to meet and experiences to be had. That’s another reason why I just can’t imagine ever getting married and being trapped in a dull and routine life. For men, variety is the spice of life.
So what’s the solution? On the other end of the extreme, there is the casual sex / only-going-for-notches thing. I have tried that, and although it’s certainly fun and exciting for a while, it can feel repetitive and unfulfilling as well after some time. So going forward, I will try to find a middle-ground by experimenting with retention and building up a rotation of regular girls.
- “Good girls” are just as kinky as “bad girls”
This should come as no surprise to anyone in the daygame community, but it’s a point we probably don’t think of too often when we are out there meeting new girls. That “good girl” you see in a book store, looking all nice and innocent, is just as horny and up for it (with the right guy) as all the other girls. The Colombian girl resembled the archetype of the “good girl”, going to church every Sunday (although only at her mother’s insistence) and often dressing in a nice, understated and feminine way. But in private, she was a horny little minx that loved getting deep-throated and doing it in the ass (among other more kinky stuff that I won’t go into). She also masturbates frequently and watched porn for a while.
The “good girl” appearance is just a front girls keep up for the sake of conforming with society’s expectations of them. That’s why imagining sexual things about a girl before approaching and subcommunicating them through your eye contact (aka tiger eyes) from the very beginning is so crucial. You are setting yourself apart from the legions of men she would otherwise immediately put in the potential provider/boyfriend box. So next time you see an innocent “good girl”, think to yourself: she’s a naughty girl.
- Hypergamy and dual-mating strategy
After our relationship ended, I still had some time before I went back to Germany, so I started daygaming again mainly in the month of August. One thing I noticed and wanted to write down for future reference is that there seem to be two types of the “I have a boyfriend” – line. The first type is a brush-off when the girl is just not interested in you. The second type is a gauge/test by the girl to see if you are in the secret society and could be a potential future lover. It’s most often accompanied by sparkly eyes. Only calibration will tell you which one is which, but if it’s the latter, just nonchalantly respond “that’s cool, I don’t want to be your boyfriend” and proceed as normal.
4. The need for an interesting, high-paying job
The job I had while I lived in Barcelona was definitely one of the most relaxed, easy-going jobs imaginable. But after some time, it just wasn’t challenging enough anymore and I gradually lost interest in it. Also, the pay wasn’t great. It was good for the 1 year I lived in Barcelona, because the city and its many fun opportunities compensated for the rather lacklustre feelings I had for my work. But it made me realize that if I want to build up a lifestyle I truly enjoy in my future, finding an interesting, fulfilling and good-paying job has to be a top priority. Not to become a provider for girls, but for my own well-being. We spend 40 hours every week at our jobs, it should be spent doing something we genuinely find intersting and enjoy most of the time.