2019 in review

2019-06-30 20:56:45.070

I haven’t posted a lot on this blog in 2019 because I haven’t been actively daygaming for the better part of the year. But still some big changes and things happened in my life in 2019, so it wouldn’t be a bad idea to write them down here (and also, I sometimes enjoy trawling through my blog and reading old stories).

So a good starting point to recap 2019 would be to go back to the last post I wrote on this blog, which would be the February recap. I had met 3 girls that month through daygame: the 18yo Ukrainian, the 26yo Afghan girl and the 20yo Turkish girl (all virgins). I was writing my thesis back then and was quite busy with it until the end of April, so I stopped daygaming during that time and chose to date those girls instead. Here’s how it went with each of them individually:

1. Ukrainian: so this girl started out very sweet and all, but turned out to be a real mindfuck. We lived in the same dorm and since I liked her the most of the 3 at that time, I was meeting her the most. After escalating quite fast during our first dates and discovering she was a virgin, I took it more slowly after that and went more of the “traditional” boyfriend route. Big mistake and a waste of time. I should have recognized earlier how much of a cocktease she was. We would meet at my dorm room or her’s every other night and watch movies/cook etc., but when it became late she would always insist that we would sleep in our own rooms (even though the rooms were just 5 mins away from eachother). I still had the rose-colored glasses of an early relationship on, so I didn’t find it weird at first, thinking that maybe it was part of her culture. Every time I would try to sexually escalate things, she would say that she had to leave. In hindsight, I should have cut things off way earlier. The lesson here: there are girls out there who will waste your time (and there’s nothing you can do about that). If a girl is not willing to progressively escalate things sexually and totally disregards your sexual needs as a man, then save yourself the headache, dump her and just find yourself a new girl.

2. Turkish girl: since I was busy with my thesis and dating mostly the Ukrainian, I wasn’t really that focussed on the Turkish girl. We met once in a while, and I sexually escalated things with her every time, going from the first handjob to her first blowjob and so on. What really stuck with me though was that one time she tried to coerce me into monogamy, by mentioning some guy in her study program who was interested in her and asking me if she should date him (showing me pictures of him and all). Obviously I knew she was trying to get me jealous and instill a fear in me of losing her to him, so I took it as a shit test and stayed unreactive, telling her that he looked like a nice guy and she could do whatever she wanted. I could tell that that wasn’t the response that she was expecting, and the next day she sent me a couple of apologetic voice messages. I have had girls in the past do similar things (mentioning other guys, trying to instill jealousy) when they wanted me to be with them exclusively, so this seems to be a common female tactic.

I escalated things with her to the point where we would almost had sex, but she would recoil from it saying that she was scared of doing it and also only wanted to do it in a relationship (another attempt to get me to commit to her). She wanted commitment, I wanted sex. I told her that I valued my personal freedom above all else, and that I wasn’t interested in a relationship. Men are not obliged to give up their commitment and freedom (to pursue many girls simultaneously for sex), just as girls are not obliged to give up sex to anybody. If one side decides to freely give up their prerogative, that doesn’t mean the other side is obliged to do the same.

My aloof attitude paid off eventually and she wanted to sleep with me, even though we weren’t exclusive. We attempted having sex several times, but she was always too tense to do it. Eventually, I managed to get inside her for 5 seconds or so, but it hurt her too much so that was that.

3. Afghan girl: I met up with the Afghan girl every now and again, but since I knew she was a strict muslim, I kept my expectations very low and just enjoyed myself when going out with her. We became quite comfortable and relaxed around eachother over several dates, and she even came back to my place for dinner and a movie (during which of course I tried escalating). The funny thing was that since my expectations were so low, I didn’t really care if I would lose her or not, so I would often blatantly sexualize the conversation just for shits and giggles. Since she literally had no experience with men (she hadn’t even been kissed yet), she was always taken aback by the sexualization and scolded me playfully, but her eyes betrayed how much she enjoyed it (she would later admit that she had a tingling sensation every time I would sexualize things). We went as far as holding hands and me kissing her neck, but never got to that first kiss back then. She would tell me that she couldn’t do anything physical with a man until she was married. It was a classic case of forebrain-hindbrain conflict. Her body craved my touch, while her mind told her that she should refrain from it.

When I finished my thesis in April, I was kind of at a crossroad. I had already spent more than 4 years in the same city for my studies and was bored out of my mind by that place. It was the same old city with the same boring stale vibe, with the same few bars that I would go to with my friends, the same daygame spots that I had walked hundreds of times already… I could have stayed and did my Master’s there, but the prospect of spending another 2+ years in that city was a sheer nightmare for me. I tried to convince myself otherwise, and took on new hobbies in May and June to distract myself of the reality that I simply didn’t enjoy living there, but inside I was long done with the place.

So in June, I found myself a job in Barcelona, packed up my stuff and left for good. What a change that was. Summer in Barcelona is as good as it gets. I had some free time before my job started so I pretty much started daygaming from the moment I arrived in the city. My vibe was good and there were a lot of tourists in the city so finding good sets was easy. There was that one Russian girl that I approached on La Rambla and insta-dated. We walked down the street, had a drink in a café near the port and later went to the beach, where we lied while the sun went down and kissed. We met another couple of times, and I eventually managed to finger her, but couldn’t quite close her before her flight back to Russia. She would later tell me she had feelings for me.

On my 5th day in the city (and about 40 approaches in), I spotted a beautiful, young girl in a red summer dress walking past me on Plaza Universidad. At first, I hesitated for a bit because I knew she was probably a bit young. But I thought “fuck it, might as well find out by approaching her”. I stopped her and immediately there was chemistry between us. Her eyes were wide open and I could see she was nervous, but at the same time excited. I did the usual daygame spiel, but since she didn’t speak English and I only started learning Spanish half a year earlier, we resorted to communicating with Google Translate. I found out that she was Colombian. She was incredibly cute, very feminine and playful too. Just my type. We went out a couple of days later.

If I had to describe our first date with one word, it would be effortless. We were taking a walk through the Gothic area and were soon holding hands. There were no games between each other, because she knew I liked her and I knew that she liked me. We kissed near the place where I had approached her at the end of the date and have been going out ever since.  It’s been more than 6 months since we first met and we’re still dating. Normally, I kind of lose interest in a girl that I slept with after some time, but I have to say that every time I see her (e.g. at the beginning of a date), I still think that she looks incredibly hot.

By pure chance, the Afghan girl came to Barcelona to do a summer course in Spanish just after I had moved there. We would hang out once in a while, go to the beach or go for tapas. One evening, I rented a motor scooter and let her drive us to the beach (it was her first time driving one). I was sort of a mini “adventure bubble” and also a good excuse to physically escalate under the pretence of holding myself tight to her while she drove. I could see that she was exhilarated at the end of the ride. At the beach, we walked to the so-called “Espigó del Gas”, which is sort of a small headland that reaches into the ocean at Barceloneta beach. We walked until the end of the headland and sat down there. It’s quite a magical place, where you can see the sea in every direction and also the reflection of the city lights in the water. We were talking about something (I don’t remember what anymore) and I could see in her eyes that something had changed. I leaned in for a kiss and she kissed me back. I actually couldn’t believe that it happened at first, because she had rebuffed me so many times. Her first kiss soon turned into her first  passionate make-out. We ended the date with a walk along the beach, holding hands and kissing each other.

Screenshot 2020-02-02 at 16.36.48
the “Espigó del Gas”

She started to want to see me more often, but I had just started to date the Colombian girl, and was honestly more keen to spend my time with the Colombian. It was a unique experience to have this girl, who was objectively beautiful, be so needy towards me and me trying to find excuses why I couldn’t see her (normally I would just say that I was too tired from work). I did meet up with her some times more though, and taught her how to give her first handjob. It was quite a change from when I first met her, when she would tell me that a woman should never touch a man before marriage. She could sense though that I wasn’t fully committed to her, and would once in a while send me some accusatory messages, asking me why I was ignoring her. I didn’t feel particularly bad about not devoting more time to her though, since we weren’t exclusive and I never promised her exclusivity. She had rejected me previously (when we started getting to know each other she even sent me a message saying we shouldn’t meet anymore), and now I was rejecting her because I wanted to spend more time with the other girl. That’s just how it is in the dating game.

So that wraps up my 2019. Definitely an eventful year with up’s and down’s, but overall I can say that I ended the year in a better place than where I had started it. For now I don’t think I will daygame in the foreseeabel future, so this blog will go on hiatus again. Good luck to all daygamers out there and may you have a fruitful 2020!

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