Motivating myself

Recently I’ve found myself in the daygamer’s dilemma. On the one hand, I see all the hot girls walking by and I’m sure that with continous effort put into cold-approaching, I’d be able to at least get one of them. On the other hand, I’m regularly fucking seeing the 18-year old girl (and admittedly enjoying her company), which really saps my motivation to approach. 

So what I’ll do to motivate myself to approach is keep myself accountable by writing down every approach I do in this post with a few notes on each one (e.g. LINE add, no hook point, blow-out etc). I’ll aim for 100 approaches in December, which means on average around 4 per day. Let’s see what will be the result of my little experiment:

(1) Struggling hard with the AA. Finally manage to front stop a slow walking girl. Can’t really find my vibe and my voice is a bit shaky. Anyway, try to bounce for a coffee but she says she has to meet friends. Need to dumb down the verbal stuff and concentrate on my non-verbals

(2) Front stop a slow walking girl after we locked eyes for a second. Easy set, because she could speak English a bit. She gives me a couple of IOIs, like playing with her hair and crossing/uncrossing her legs. Maybe should have switched gears more and go from attraction to more rapport. We swap LINE with the promise to go drink German beer another day.

(3) language barrier

(4) language barrier

(5) opened a girl around 11pm in an underground shopping area. She walked towards me and I opened indirect by asking her where to find the next Starbucks, but quickly revealed that I had just wanted to talk to her because I thought she looked cute. The set looked pretty solid and I did a little gambit where I took a video of us with the frontcamera of my phone while I walked her arm-in-arm to the train station (she was on her way to the last train), saying I would sent my mum a video of my new Japanese wife (credit Tom Torero). LINE-close at the station [EDIT: but she didn’t reply]

(6) LINE-close of a girl that was handing out pamphlets, telling her that her big contact lenses made her look cute but also a bit crazy. [also flaked in the texting]

(7) no stop

(8) first set of the day: front stop and a bit of plowing, but language barrier so I ejected.

Need to follow the 3-second-rule and stop weasling so much.

(9) no hook. Failed the front stop a bit by not planting my feet properly and holding my ground. Thus couldn’t stop her physical momentum

(10) opened a girl in a shop. Just told her she looked nice, than chatted a bit and suggested taking a walk to a park nearby. She agrees. I link my arm with her for a bit while we walk there and tell her she’s my new crazy Japanese girl. We sit down and just talk normally. I tell her it’s cold so I suggest going to a cafe. We walk to a nearby French cafe, and a bit of rapport and future-projecting etc. there. I’m thinking of going for the SDL, but I don’t think it’s that on although I got full compliance up to that point. So I take the LINE and suggest meeting next week for a beer, to which she said she’ll think about it. Maybe I miscalculated and it was on for the SDL and now she’ll flake completely, wouldn’t surprise me. Gonna read up on the SDL section in Daygame Mastery [EDIT: texted me back a bit, than flaked. Lesson learned: push every set for the SDL in Japan, because chances are the girl will flake in the texting]

(11) blow-out

(12) chatted up a girl in the supermarket. Seemed like a good set, but she didn’t want to swap LINE

(13) no interest from the girl, so ejected

(14) girl in supermarket. looked like 25, was actually 32. Language barrier, so I ejected

(15) language barrier. Just stayed in set and plowed a bit but I could sense it wasn’t going anywhere

(16) went in for the front stop, but tripped right before I was in front of the girl. Couldn’t stop her physical momentum after that

(17) no hook

(18) Found a cute girl in a department store. As soon as I thought about how to approach her, my mind started producing excuses (“She’s probably waiting for her bf. She’s not cute enough…”). I thought of Tom’s video “Excuses, excuses” and it actually made me laugh. So I said fuck it to the rationalizations and went in. She didn’t have interest in me, but still it was a fun set.

(19) no hook

(20) no hook

(21) blowout

(22) approached a girl in a shop. Was struggling wirh the AA, but finally overcame it. Ejected too early, should have plowed a bit.

(23) language barrier

(24) no hook

(25) no hook

Need to concentrate on exhibiting a fun vibe more. And I should stay in the now and stop future projecting what would happen if I approach. Always assume the best.

(26) hook but no on number-close (not staying in the city)

Keep the interaction about her.

(27) LINE add (Shiori). Approached her in a department store. Good stacking, telling her she looks like a hamster with big eyes. Kept at it with the attraction, than dialed it down after the hook point with a bit of rapport. Closed by telling her I want to meet her for a coffee next week. Learning points: open more sets, there will always be girl that likes you. Speak a bit slower and with more gravitas.

(28) Department store again. Didn’t do a full stop but just touched her shoulder with a light tap. She was shocked at first, but I recovered and got her on an instant-date. After we have sat there for 5 minutes, she says “Oh, that’s my friend” and walks off with her. Learning point: gauge the girl’s interest level better. Getting her on an instant-date isn’t magically going to get her more attracted. If you sense that it’s going nowhere, cut the set short

(29) no hook

(30) FB close in fitness gym. In hindsight, I realised that I didn’t ground the close at all. It didn’t really make any sense. I should have said something like:”Look, I got to go, but you seem like a cool person and I would like to go drink some German beer with you another time.”

(31) too young

(32) Haruka LINE add – ran a solid set completely in Japanese. Opened indirect using prop from a shop (we were both looking at glasses). Ran some attraction material until she hooked. Dialed it down with rapport/comfort. Spiked it up by telling her that I actually just wanted to talk to her because she looked cute (indirect-direct). Took her LINE and suggested to meet again sometime. Grounded the set by showing some vulnerability to make myself a more 3-dimensional character in her view. Unfortunately, she doesn’t live in my city, but she sometimes comes here.

(33) approach in department store – went direct in English, than later revealed that I can speak Japanese and switched. Told me she had a boyfriend when I wanted to close.

(34) approached a girl that stood behind me on the escalator – thought she looked cute, but seeing her close up I realized that it was just her make-up and big anime-eyes contact lense. Stayed in the set anyway, to build some vibe and run some attraction. Ejected after a while

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