Good vibe proved to be a vital element in daygaming here. More so than in any other country, exhibiting a fun, outgoing personality seems to be crucial for talking to Japanese girls.
As a comparison: before I checked my vibe, I approached 44 girls and got 3 highly flaky numbers. In the last 10 approaches where I focused a lot on my vibe, I got numbers from 3 girls who texted me back quickly and 1 insta-date (that ended in a kiss in a karaoke booth). I can even see the effect of good vibe when I go in low-vibe and suddenly “switch it on”, the girls will open up and are way more interested. It’s almost like Japanese girls are “vibe-sensitive”.
One of the girls I talked to was at a Starbucks, sitting next to me studying English. I opened by showing her a difficult kanji on my phone and asking her what it meant. From the very beginning, I went in with a really good vibe (smiling a lot, eyefucking etc.) and the girl was responding really well, I could even see her hands shaking a bit. Just maybe I’ve overdone it a bit. Unfortunately I’ve fucked up the texting, so nothing came out of it. The point is though, exhibiting a good vibe is fucking crucial here. And I can see this (indirect) method working.
I was checking Tom Torero’s Youtube channel and blog for the video on his date model yesterday (got one scheduled for Sunday), and surprise-surprise he’s in Japan as well. He even put up a podcast about “Japanese Daygame”, which was quite insightful. He advocates going in direct, focusing a lot on non-verbals/subcommunication, dumbing-down the English to simple sentences (he says that struggling in bad Japanese is really value-lowering, which might be the case with me) and going for r-selected fast-lays. I can see where he’s coming from. I approached a couple times just in English (pretending not to speak Japanese) and it did have a good effect in the few times I did it, but at the time didn’t think much of it, it was more just for fun.
I’m a bit tired of approaching indirect lately, espcially of having to hide my intent, so I want to try direct approaching again (this time only speaking in really simple English). This means focusing a lot on my vibe, my non-verbals, my subcommunication and leading the girl. The game is played in the field, so I’ll test this method for the next 20 approaches, documented here:
(1) The first few girls I weasel. It reminds me that there is a reason why guys don’t do direct approaching that much. Finally, I manage to overcome the AA and front stop a slowly walking girl. Great initial response, she’s smiling but of course can’t speak any English. I concentrate on exhibiting a great vibe and on my subcommunication, talking English slowly. It’s going pretty well, I tell her I’m from Germany and joke about eating sausages and drinking beer all day. Google translate helps with the language barrier. I try to get her to a coffee shop with me, but she says she’s in a hurry so I take the LINE add. In hindsight, I realize that I forgot to tease. But still, I’m off to a good start.
(2) blow-out. Should approach a bit quicker. I’m weaseling the open too much. I should just tell myself “fuck it” and do it.
(3) Was on my way to daygame after finishing the day at work. Saw a girl looking at me for a split second, thought “fuck it” and opened. First set is always the hardest. I was a bit struggling to find my vibe, but I stayed in set for about 5 minutes, ending with a LINE add. 29-year old kindergarten teacher looking more like 21. Suggested drinking beer together. Let’s see.
(4) Still struggling with AA. It takes some time for me to do the 2nd approach, but finally I overcome myself. I fail the front stop a bit, and she is a bit shocked. I plant my feet on the ground and just manage to stop her. A bit of banter, but she looks weary and it’s a bit difficult for me to stay in set. Finally I eject, and she looks at me at the end like “why aren’t you asking for me LINE”. Should have tried to close I guess.
(5) 3rd open of the day. A girl is standing behind me on an escalator. We have brief eye-contact. I decided that it was an AI so I turn around once the elevator is finished. I was right and she’s giving a really great response, all smiley and happy. A small but really cute J-girl with big hamster eyes, really my type. Daygame is so random, one girl will totally ignore you and the next one is totally up for it. Still surprises me.
We chat a bit right there in the department store (using google translate), than I just say let’s go for coffee, I invite you. So we go for the instant-date in a nearby coffee shop, and we get to know each other through google translate. She’s 20 year old and studies aesthetics (I don’t even know what that is). I just concentrate on having a good vibe and on my non-verbals. I check logistics and she says that she can’t stay late because she has uni tomorrow. At that point, all I’m thinking is same-day-lay. She’s so happy and into it, and I’m thinking that I can’t risk a second date where she might flake. So fuck it, let’s just go for it. I seed the bounce saying that I know a good bar with German beer, and that she should try German beer because it’s so delicious. So we go and walk towards my apartment. I just try and do a little bit of banter on the way, asking her what kind of music she likes etc.
When we’re at the bar near my apartment, I tell her that I just bring back the bottle of portwine to my place (I had bought it before in the department store), and afterwards we go to the bar. Of course my intention is to just get her into my apartment. We go upstairs to the apartment building and my hands shake a bit. I’m thinking “holy fuck, is this really happening right now? Am I really taking a girl home that I met not even an hour ago on the street? Is this my SDL?”. It’s an unreal experience for me. We get into the apartment, sit on the sofa in my bedroom and I open the bottle of portwine and put on a bit of jazz music.
Writing it like that, it sounds more smooth than it actually was. Honestly, I was slightly nervous and maybe it showed a bit. I try to smalltalk a little, play a bit with her hands, but then I just go for it and kiss her. Not much resistance there, but she turns away quickly. She shows me a translation saying “I have a boyfriend”, but I’m like “yeah, right” and kiss her again. I don’t really know what to do, so I escalate a bit more, kissing her neck, pulling her hair a bit. I carry her onto the bed, but she quickly gets up and says she needs to go home. I’m feeling like I’m losing the lay, but there’s nothing much I can do. I walk her down the apartment building, we talk a bit more using google translate, I add her on LINE and give her a goodbye kiss.
Writing this right now, I don’t feel frustrated at all. Maybe I should have gone to the bar with her, maybe I should have been slower in the apartment, maybe, maybe, maybe. I pushed the limits of my daygame, and I feel fucking stoked (and a bit dizzy), even though I didn’t get laid.
It’s just reality-shattering what can be done if you do this one approach. Endless opportunities every day. That one girl that you just had brief eye-contact with? If you approach her, she might go home with you after 30 minutes of knowing eachother. Daygame is fucking mental.
I’m guessing I’ll never see the girl again, even though she just texted me back (I sent her a message: “Thank you for the macaron. Very delicious 😋”, since she gave me one after I approached her). I can’t think she would want to meet me again after that, but who knows? Let’s see.
(6) First open of the day during lunch break. I’m walking in a high traffic underground shopping passage, where I see a girl looking at me. I say to myself “fuck the anxiety, fuck the spotlight effect” and open with a front stop. The open goes pretty well, but I was talking a bit too much/ using too difficult words in the beginning. Should have gone straight to “You look nice. You look very cute.”. Tease a bit saying she looks like a hamster, with big eyes. I try to bounce her to a nearby Starbucks, but she says that she meets a friend. I take the LINE.
(7) blow-out. Wasn’t feeling much like approaching, but I swore to myself to do at least one set before dinner. Slow girl walking in front of me, I weasel/follow for about 30 seconds, than overcome myself and front stop. She walks away saying “not, not” after I tell her I find her cute.
(8) first set of the day. No-hook
(9) front-stop a slowly walking girl. No-hook
(11) Fourth approach of the day. I get an AI by a girl standing behind me on the escalator and I act on it. I couldn’t do an full front stop because there were too many people around, but she stops easily. She can actually speak English on a decent level (having been to England for 4 months) and we just talk a bit, I tease her by calling her a shopping maniac. In hindsight, I should have assumption-stacked or done a cold-read. Try to bounce her for an insta-date, but she tells me she doesn’t have time so I go for the LINE add. Never give up, the next yes girl is just around the corner.
(12) girl on an escalator: i think she’s alone, turns out it’s a group of three. First time I didn’t recognize that a girl isn’t alone. I try to tease and go for the close, but she doesn’t want to give me her LINE
(13) Struggling with the AA. Front stop the girl. She looks a bit skeptical, but I manage to stop her. My vibe is pretty good, and I tease her. She doesn’t want the LINE add first, but I insist and close. Probably a flake.
On a side note, I now have 3 promising leads from 3 different categories of game.
There is the English-speaking girl that gave me the AI, which I met through direct cold-approach. Texting goes well with her.
Than there is the girl from the Starbucks, where I thought I fucked up the texting. Surprisingly, she texted me today after a week of not responding (saying she was busy with uni), so judging from her really good response on my indirect approach, I might get her out on a date.
And lastly, there is a girl I met through “social circle”. I don’t really have friends here, so it was more of a coincidence that I got to know her, but that’s for another post. I’ll meet her for a date today.
Funny how I couldn’t get anything to work the first few weeks here, and now I have a relative good abundance.
(14) first set of the day. Hook-point, but she didn’t want to give me her LINE. I just said goodbye
(15) Front stop. A cute girl with a nice dress. She wants to continue walking but I stop her momentum. A nice set. She likes it and is jumping around soon after like a cute squirrel. I stay solid like an oak tree. I do the holding-hands-after-handshake-move. I try to bounce for an insta-date, but she says she is going to the cinema soon. I get the LINE, and suggest coffee next week. I need to check my non-verbals a bit more though.
(16) front stop a girl I saw walking by. When I’m in front of her, I realize that she actually doesn’t look that good. I eject
(17) same as above
(18) approach on an AI. The set was going quite good, but than her bus came and I let her go (she wasn’t as good looking as I thought)
(19) good reaction on front stop, but no hook (said she was in a hurry)
My conclusion from 20 approaches: Tom’s advice on Japanese daygame is spot-on. Game is game, biology is biology. Beneath the superficial cultural rules, we all still operate according to the same primal mating script. I didn’t speak a word of Japanese during those 20 sets, but almost SDL’ed a girl, got 2 dates scheduled and another date is very certain. And going direct is just so refreshing. I see a hot girl? I just go talk to her and tell her I find her attractive. Fuck going indirect.