My experience with Japanese girls is a constant up and down. When I arrived here and noticed that direct daygame is not that well perceived, it was a bit of a let-down, because I like the adrenaline kick I get out of it. Than I discovered the indirect approaching method (“the gratitude method”) and thought as long as I can get girls, it didn’t really matter in which way. And I did get the hook point and numbers a couple times already (even had an instant-date with a girl, we had a coffee at Starbucks, went to a game centre and to Karaoke), but than the next problem emerged: flakiness.
I researched a bit on the internet and it seems to be a prevalent problem with Japanese girls. One of the girls I approached and got a number from I was sure that I’ll meet her again. She even blushed when I gave her a handshake at the end. I literally would have bet like 30€ that I would meet her again, I was that sure. I got girls on dates in Germany with less stellar interactions. But she’s really tardy in responding and has now stopped all together.
Of course flakiness can have many different reasons, but the main reason I believe is this: my perceived value just wasn’t high enough. Plain and simple. I assumed that I could let the game slide a bit, since betaness is so ingrained in Japanese culture (the constant bowing geez) and that I could get by on my foreign looks, but I now understand that that’s a false conclusion. The rules of the game still apply. And I think it’s doubly true for Japanese girls, my game has to be spot on if I want to see success here.
So I need to focus on my game aka value-delivering-system more from now on. That’s what it basically comes down to: channelling as much value as possible in the interaction, using different techniques such as teasing, qualifying etc., so the girl is more inclined to meet me again.
I haven’t done proper daygame in a while, so there are many areas that I have to work on, but instead of trying to fix everything all at once, I’ll focus on a specific thing one at a time.
For now I want to focus on my voice & statements. Everything I have to keep in mind is written down in this excellent blog post, but to rewrite what I have to do in own words:
- speak loud and clear
- keep attention on my voice tone (maintaining a deep voice, my pitch shouldn’t go up in a supplicating way)
- talk slowly
- talk with intent/purpose (I babble to much nonsense at the moment, I should pause a bit before stating something and avoid filler words or signs of admiration like “wow” “cool”)
Another thing I want to focus on:
- making statements (like assumptions) instead of questions
- creating assumption stories
I bought a spycam before coming to Japan, so I will use that to record myself and check my voice.